Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replace genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth.
As far as I can remember I knew what way I was supposed to be, at some point I also knew what kind of person I wanted to be. So I put many efforts into changing my personality and I think I did succeed, not in everything, at least not in everything at once and not permanently. It feels a bit fake. All the positive thinking, communication techniques, working on controlling emotions and many many more, feels really dull now and tiring. What happened to personal freedom and being yourself? All this work done did not increase my self esteem (as it was expected to) even though I really did achieve the goals on self improvement path I set in the first place.
Now: Let’s go back to the basic and find out who I really am and what to do next, I’ll keep you posted :)
I will only tell you I tried recently mind programming with Paul McKenna, 2 day free course at The Coaching Academy and watched Anthony Robbins. All highly enjoyable and agitating but it did not work.
What do you think? Are you currently in the middle of implementing life changes? Let me know how you get on and if you have any suggestions what I can do :)